I’ve seen this Facebook app that will collect all of your statuses for the year and put them together. That got me thinking …
Here are some (definitely not all) of my Facebook status updates for 2009, with a few funny comments included too. I learned some things about myself in the process of putting them together. Like that I have a strange fascination with Turkish Delight and Mongolian Throat Singing. Oh, well.
Enjoy!
JANUARY
Emily …
- helps Molly and Moses plan their wedding … they really liked the idea of incorporating ninjas …
- The diagnosis from the IT guy regarding my poor Macbook is grim. Well, pretty grim. Grim-ish?
- is glad Sebastian the Mac has returned to her. Except he’s had his memory wiped, so he won’t even recognize her. sniff sniff.
FEBRUARY
- listening to Patrick Cassidy’s “Deirdre of the Sorrows.” Good music based on a bizarre medieval Celtic tale of woe and destruction–what can beat that?
- spent an evening Brailling and arpeggiating.
- just came back from an awesome murder mystery dinner held in a castle. Yes, be jealous
- loves her family and wants to keep them forever and ever.
MARCH
- Lo, it snoweth
- went gorging in Georgia with Tallulah. Wait, I mean I went to Tallulah Gorge in Georgia. I need sleep
- I’m cooler online
APRIL
- oh, the pollen … *sneeze hack die*
- is about to give herself a pedicure. I’ve never done it before, so hopefully I’ll come out of it with all of my toes.
- seems to have a magnetic attraction to tossed bridal bouquets … I didn’t even try last night–it fell into my hand. Third time’s the charm??
- Dawn K: Oh, my! Do you mean third time could bring prince “charm” ing
- Me: he just better not be wearing tights like in the Disney movies …
- lo, I writeth. And baketh a pieth.
- The oak pollen is finally going away! *Emily comes out of hiding*
MAY
- my gerbils keep burying their exercise wheel instead of running on it … I’m going to have some obese rodents on my hands!
- Kristen A: I think they’re trying to make a point. :0) Perhaps cardio isn’t their thing. Have you thought about signing them up for yogilates?
- Me: I shall purchase little yoga mats for them and see how they do.
- needs new shoes, but just isn’t motivated to go buy them. Maybe I should just throw all my old shoes away. That way I’ll be forced to go replace them … or go to the office barefoot.
- We’re having quite the storm here! I hope that huge crash was another clap of thunder and not a tree falling or something exploding. (the likelihood of something exploding is pretty slim, but as long as it’s not my car it would be cool)
- spent the morning at 1,600 feet in a hot air balloon! And I wasn’t scared at all! (no, wait, that’s a lie. But it wasn’t too scary, as long as I looked OUT at the scenery and not DOWN)
JUNE
- reads Smithsonian magazine and eats Vegan chocolate-banana cupcakes while waiting for her fever to go away.
- “Why is it…while other people are thinking about all kinds of important things…I am thinking about what it would be like to jump barefoot into an open box of jelly doughnuts?” -James Stevenson
JULY
- Day off from work + upcoming vacation + trip to Dunkin’ Donuts = THE BEST DAY EVER!!
- went to the beach, saw a wild alligator, bought a rock, got a book of Celtic verse, ate at the Grumpy Grouper Grille, and got sand in my pants. not a bad trip!
- Becky: long live the sand in your pants!
- Megan C: as long as you didn’t see a wild rock and buy an alligator.
- Molly, you have me thinking … what WOULD it be like to be set in orange Jell-O?
- honestly, Becky, everyone knows that slugs don’t have noses!
- was kind of insulted today when her roommate and roommate’s twin watched her eat her ethnic food like it was a freak show or something … I ask you, what’s so weird about eating baked beans on toast??
- has been thinking about how He says “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.” (psalm 81:10). That implies a more gutsy faith that’s not afraid to ask hard questions …
- watching Ratatouille after making ratatouille and eating ratatouille.
- I used to have really long hair, but then when I got into all those swashbuckling sword fights it kept blowing in my face. That’s why I cut it. Just in case anyone was wondering.
AUGUST
- I just watched “I want tomorrow,” an old music video in which Enya lights a car on fire. Um … 1986 was a strange year.
- sat down to do some writing. Somehow I ended up watching YouTube videos of Mongolian Throat Singing. Oh well.
- had a great time talking with a great friend … and subjecting said friend to videos of Mongolian Throat Singing. (Now if that isn’t a real friend, who is??)
- is reading Ray Blackston’s “Last Mango in Texas”
- “If you want to know the moral of this song: 50 million little monkeys can’t be wrong!”
- and her apartment-mate set a world record for fastest shoe shopping, and then celebrated by eating Turkish Delight.
SEPTEMBER
- had an odd dream. Me versus Darth Vader … except he was wearing polka-dotted boxer shorts over his black costume. Though everyone in the room assured me that he was just as menacing as ever, it was kind of hard to take him seriously …
- After trying to name the seven dwarfs, we finally got it figured out: Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy, Creepy, Slurpy and Doc
OCTOBER
- There’s a pumpkin in my living room. His name is Pablo.
- The Internet is a great thing. I can go Christmas shopping while in my fuzzy robe, eating Turkish Delight.
- Though sleeping in my car in 40-degree weather was pretty fabulous, I’m kind of excited about a real bed tonight. Other than that, the Creative Serives camping trip was a blast.
NOVEMBER
- Tonight’s conversation discussed the possibility of the Brave Little Toaster moonlighting as a hitman.
- One day, I am going to be the Crazy Cat Lady that lives at the end of your street. I will have 26 cats and I will dye them mauve. Just you watch.
- Becky and I have hit upon the screenplay that will make our fortune: Pilgrim Zombies. Vampire Banshees. Undying Love. Zac Effron stars in this completely original idea for a film: *DUSK* Coming in 2012! Don’t miss it!
- Brian B: don’t forget to make the main girl hate everyone around her in her new town…that’ll be completely original!!!
- Sarah N: To make it really original I think you should throw in a couple of musical dance numbers. They’d fit right in.
- Me: these are both great points and will be taken into consideration
- Amy M: i have it…the sequal should be called “old sun.”
- found some Christmas lights with a tag that said August 1984 on them. And we’d been using them, too …
- drew a picture of the Ark of the Covenant on the marker board while teaching Children’s Church. After class, the kids all took turns touching the “ark” and pretending to fall down dead. Not quite the take-away value I had in mind, but as long as they’re learning, I guess …
DECEMBER
- wonders if perhaps there is a badger under her bed. Her sister’s dog certainly seems to think so.
- is sitting in her living room with a fleece jacket on, still cold. I just realized someone switched the heat to “off” … that might explain it! Problem solved.
- Kristen A: By way of deductive reasoning. Just like Sherlock Holmes!
- Mike D: I think you should probably have just built a small fire in the middle of your living room on some bricks. That would have solved the problem too.
- Me: Great idea! I should have taken the Boswell book off the rodent cage and used it as kindling.
- Bethany L: You must have read all the Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Brown books when you were a kid.
- Me: But if I were Nancy Drew, I would have realized too late the heat had been switched off, but I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because the villain would have locked me up in a box, but one with a small air hole that I could conveniently peek out of. Then Ned the No-Personality-Boyfriend would save the day, handing me the key to the box’s … padlock. Before we would jump in my fancy car and race to the mansion to reveal the villain’s identity to the generous heiress, we would sit by the blazing Boswell fire to warm up.
- Had a dream that Al Gore was having a secret meeting with one of the Copenhagen people in my apartment bathroom. Same old, same old.
- I want a Stegosaurus for Christmas.
- Mike D: I’m glad you’re not one of those people who are so hard to buy for.
- Judith D: what did you do with the one you got last year, huh? You broke it. Face it, you just don’t know how to relate to the prehistoric types.
- Me: did you have to bring that up??
- And then, in between opening presents, drawing faces on oranges and hiding them, doing a jigsaw puzzle, petting the poodles and eating Christmas dinner, they all took NAPS. It was the best Christmas ever. The end. (OK, it doesn’t make for an interesting story, but it was nice