Pumpkins Don’t Have Ankles

So … my sister Becky and I should not spend too much time together. Especially if we’re both procrastinating and in a particularly sarcastic mood. Here’s just a sampling of some of the conversations we’ve had today:

SNIPPET 1:
BECKY
Are you frying an egg?

EMILY
No, I just got out the pan, the carton of eggs and started heating up the butter for fun.

BECKY
Oh, right.

(a few minutes later)

BECKY
Did you eat the egg?

EMILY
No, I took it off the pan, opened the window, and threw it at passer-bys.

BECKY
I believe the correct plural for that word is passerS-by.

EMILY
Whatever.

SNIPPET 2:
EMILY
Who’s Monday named after? Mars?

BECKY
Mars isn’t a Norse god.

EMILY
Yeah … I know Wednesday is named after Woden, Thursday is named after Thor … wait, didn’t you decide you liked Vidar better than Thor? So we’ll call it Vidarsday instead of Thursday.

BECKY
And then calendar abbreviations would be better because you wouldn’t have two days that begin with T.

EMILY
Brilliant!

SNIPPET 3
EMILY
I’m sorry, I just don’t think there’s such thing as a good demise.

BECKY
No, really, there is. You see, being assassinated quickly would be a good demise. Being cast into a fiery pit of lava death would be a bad demise.

EMILY
You definitely have a point there.

SNIPPET 4
(This one was regarding my little Pilgrim decoration I have in the living room.)

BECKY
I’m going to feed your little Pilgrim to some wild banshees!

EMILY
Why would banshees eat my Pilgrim?

BECKY
They just would! Have you ever conducted an experiment to prove that banshees, if given the chance, wouldn’t eat a Pilgrim?

EMILY
Do you have any proof they would?

BECKY
It’s just logical. Banshees eat stuff. Pilgrims are stuff. Therefore, banshees eat Pilgrims.

EMILY
Since when do Banshees eat stuff? I thought they just wailed.

BECKY
Wait, what?

EMILY
You DO know what a banshee is, right?

BECKY
It’s like … a hyena?

EMILY
Umm …

Once educating Becky on the history and personality traits of banshees, and their important role in Irish ghost stories, we began to see that it was quite unlikely that a banshee would eat a Pilgrim. Unless it were a Vampire Banshee.

And just like that, we had created a new genre of teen horror/romance/chick lit.

We brainstormed some more, and this is what we came up with.

Official artwork:

Trailer script:

Pilgrim Zombies. … Vampire Banshees. … Undying Love.

Zac Effron stars in a film that is nothing like anything you’ve seen before, no, like for real, it’s totally original:

****DUSK****

Coming in 2012! Don’t miss it!