Pumpkins Don’t Have Ankles

Another chat between me and my friend Mike. Somehow while we were complaining about a particular genre of popular lit, we spontaneously created one. (It was surprisingly easy!)

me
I do NOT like sentimental books about people living on the prairie, which is like 94.3% of Women’s Christian fiction

Mike
94.35% since my new book “Cyclone of Romance”
about Debra, who is hiding her past

me
from Jedidiah

Mike
until the rich, handsome, young cowboy Roger rides into town
then Jed will have to stand up and take notice.
it all ends up ok
Roger ends up with Pauline

me
the sun sets
someone makes a pie

Mike
guns are drawn

me
a quilt is made

Mike
saloons are ambled into
ladies gossip
iced tea is served

me
the heroine talks down the crazed shooter

Mike
church socials are had

me
all her problems disappear when she melts into Jed’s arms

Mike
Oh Jed
Oh Debra

me
(he smells like chickens)

Mike:
Oh Roger
Oh Pauline

me
Oh look at that cyclone

Mike
Oh Cyclone
Oh Disaster
Oh Triumph
Oh Wedding Bells

me
Oh my quilts are soiled
(pesky cyclone)

Mike
The bell was blown out of the steeple
How about a Wedding Train Whistle?

me
They have to use cowbells for the wedding

Mike
Honey, we’re goin’ back East