Pumpkins Don’t Have Ankles

An email conversation with me and my apartment-mate after I returned from the dentist.
AMY
hey, em, how did it go? any cavities? Did they say, “oh, do you mind smiling? we need to take your picture for the files …” I hate that. They always take my picture when I look terrible. *sigh* They really need [...]

Feeling blue because you haven’t kept your New Year’s Resolution to bench press six times your weight, cut out all carbohydrates from your diet or read through all of the writings of James Boswell*??
No worries! In a recent email, my friend Judith explained to me why this isn’t a problem:

ME:
I hear from a marginally reliable [...]

Another lunchtime email–this one from last week when there was talk of snow.
Subject Line: Impending doom*
EMILY
Anyone luncheoning on this day of impending doom*?
Noon at the DC if you are brave enough.
*please note that in the Southern context, “doom” is pretty synonymous
with “any chance of snow.”
BRIAN:
I brought lunch with me since I could not bring myself [...]

I’ve seen this Facebook app that will collect all of your statuses for the year and put them together. That got me thinking …
Here are some (definitely not all) of my Facebook status updates for 2009, with a few funny comments included too. I learned some things about myself in the process of putting them [...]

So … my sister Becky and I should not spend too much time together. Especially if we’re both procrastinating and in a particularly sarcastic mood. Here’s just a sampling of some of the conversations we’ve had today:
SNIPPET 1:
BECKY
Are you frying an egg?
EMILY
No, I just got out the pan, the carton of eggs and started heating [...]

On Tuesday night some of my friends and I gathered to watch Cutthroat Island, a 1995 pirate film that won a place in the Guiness Book of World Records*
My friend recommended it because it has one of the most highly-acclaimed soundtrack scores in film history.
Watching the film itself was an experience like none other. I [...]

Some of the most memorable books of my childhood were from Louis Sachar’s Sideways Stories from Wayside School series. To this day, I still laugh when I think of characters like Benjamin Nushmutt, who for some reason everyone called Mark Miller. Poor Benjamin spent the entire school year trying to work up the courage to [...]

The Post in which Witherow describes her GRANDEST ADVENTURE YET, in which she sat UNSECURED in a wicker basket 1600 feet above the Ground, felt STARK TERROR, sustained an INJURY and ALMOST DIED.
OK, OK, that is slightly exaggerated. It wasn’t quite stark terror … more like a stiff nervousness. And the only injury I received [...]

So my sister and our roommate decided to watch the film Twilight (you know, the one about love and vampires. Yes, love and vampires). I threatened to mock it mercilessly as it played, then at their request promised them I wouldn’t. Well, it’s over now, so let the mockery commence!!
For those of you who have [...]

er … new site. Yep, this is the new home for Pumpkins Don’t Have Ankles, just in time* for this blog’s Annibirthday!
Enjoy!
*Actually, I missed the Annibirthday by a week, but that’s kind of how things work around here. Alas the day.